ASK A DUDE: VALENTINE’S DAY | VOL. 2

Okay so last year’s Ask A Dude post was really well loved so I figured I’d bring it back! Before we get started, I’d like to introduce our dudes to you. They’re awesome.

Sheldon, 22, Georgia State University

Well, my name is Sheldon. I’m a psychology major at Georgia State University, so I’m always listening to what others have to say. I’ve become immersed in the realm of clothing as I work at Urban Outfitters. As far as my interest goes, I am a sports fanatic, a grilled cheese connoisseur, an art enthusiast, and I enjoy having an upbeat social life. I like a little bit of everything for the most part, and I am always down to try new things, unless it’s milk because I don’t trust milk. Get to know me, and you won’t regret it!

Sina, 19, University of Georgia

What up, people! My name is Sina and I’m a sophomore at UGA. I’m pretty excited to be back for the Valentine’s Day Edition, so let’s get to it! I love music, sports, photography/cinematography, and technology. So if you’re a girl with similar interests I’d say you’re pretty golden at this point. As for my dislikes, I have one main one, and that is I can’t stand ignorant people. Have an open mind, and we’ll have a good time.

Brian, 20, United States Military Academy

I am a cadet at the United States Military Academy where I am on the sailing team. Having never sailed before coming here, I assume the only reason I made it was because of the easy sailing puns that can be made from my last name which is pronounced like “buoy”. I love reading (which often turns into sleeping with a book in my hand), binge watching Netflix, and just generally embarrassing myself by being a loud-mouthed idiot. I feel myself slowly becoming increasingly cynical as life at West Point takes its toll.

Alex, 20, University of Alabama

My name is Alex, and I’m a physics/math major at the University of Alabama. I’m a member of the cycling team, I’m an assistant coach to the university’s swim team, and I’m doing research into human exercise physiology. I’m a huge fan of foreign films, weird indie music, and ren faires.

How important is religion (or lack thereof) in a relationship?

Sheldon: I don’t even consider religion when it comes to relationships. We are all entitled to our different beliefs, and as long as they can respect mine, I can respect theirs. Whether it’s Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, etc. as long as we get along then it doesn’t matter.

Sina: Tough question. Personally, it does not matter to me. You can believe what you believe and I’ll take it upon myself to learn about the religion and gain a better understanding of its beliefs and rituals. I may not practice the religion, but I do think that religion can offer many life lessons/values that one can take and apply to their own life. That being said, I don’t appreciate it when religion is imposed upon me, and that is where the line should be drawn. Believe what you believe, respect my ways, and I’ll respect yours. Simple as that. 

Brian: I think religion is pretty important in that people probably need to have similar or compatible beliefs. Religion is a large part of many people’s identity, and conflicts in this area may be polarizing enough to prevent a successful relationship. For me personally, I’m not religious, so I don’t think I could ever settle down with anyone who is big into religion.

Alex: I’m fairly nonreligious. I identify as an agnostic atheist/Buddhist. In my relationships I don’t look for people who agree with my views, but rather people that respect them. I’ve dated highly religious girls who were intent on “saving me”, and I have to admit that it made me very uncomfortable. So I look for the middle way between religious extremes.

Is there too much pressure put on guys for things like Valentine’s Day?

Sheldon: Sometimes I feel like it’s a lot of pressure on the guys more so than the girls on Valentine’s Day. You always see people saying “I want this and this and this and even this” for Valentine’s Day, like they’re entitled to it. Not everyone is this way, but I’m sure we all know at least one person who is like this. Some people treat Valentine’s Day like it’s Christmas, and it shouldn’t be about that. Guys are basically expected to go all out in February, and that can make us crack.

Sina: I don’t think so. We should take it upon ourselves to treat our ladies on a special day.

Brian: Although I’ve never been in a relationship during Valentine’s day, from what I’ve observed, the big pressure to do something big on Valentine’s day seems to come from outside the relationship. Movies, music, and advertisements, they all make it out to be a bigger day than it actually is. Most people just want the recognition and affection of their significant other.

Alex: Absolutely. Guys are bombarded with advertisements for places, for gifts, for other material things to help guys show their lady or man how much they love them. Hell, I even got an email from Pizza Hut telling me their pizzas were on sale to eat with a “lover”. I’m sorry, Pizza Hut. If someone is ordering pizza from you on Friday, chances are they’re alone. On that note, I’ll be taking advantage of that pizza coupon.

How important are looks in a relationship?

Sheldon: Looks are pretty important, but everyone can say that they want to be with someone that they are physically attracted to. It’s our human nature. Looks are not the only thing though, and they definitely are not the most important thing. But the importance is there and I’m sure we can all find common ground on that subject.

Sina: If you’re attracted to someone, go for it. I may find a girl pretty, whereas my roommate won’t. Looks honestly depend on who you are and what you find attractive in a partner. I guess looks are the attention grabbers, but what makes a guy stay is the personality of the girl.

Brian: Personal appearance is definitely a factor in relationships. It’s just another one of those baseline factors of compatibility. If you can’t find your partner attractive, I can’t see how you could sustain a relationship. I tend to view it as a binary scale though, go or no-go. Once you’re past the threshold though, all of the other factors take over.

Alex: I think looks are a very important barrier to entry. There’s no question that someone who is more striking is going to get more initial attention. But as cliché as it is, there’s always more to a person than what is on the surface. I much prefer girls with interests, with passions.

Is it weird to meet people online or on dating apps?

Sheldon: Meeting people online isn’t weird to me at all. I guess it depends on how social you are, and how you handle situations. I’ve met a number of people from online and I’m still alive, and I have never been catfished or anything like that. I actually met my girlfriend from Twitter. So like, I guess if you’re comfortable with talking to someone enough that you want to meet them, I say go for it.

Sina: I don’t think so. To each, his own.

Brian: I don’t think meeting people online or on apps is weird at all. Sure, it may be novel, but I think it’s a legitimate way to meet people. Being at West Point, cadets are stuck on campus and have little chance to get out. As a result, the cadet population on Tinder is pretty big. For our formal we just had, one of my good friends brought his “Tinderella” whom he had never met in person before. They had a great weekend.

Alex: Absolutely not. It’s a great resource. I see no problem in bringing dating into the future.

On that note, is the dating game changing? Is technology making things easier or harder?

Sheldon: The dating game is definitely changing. Technology is making it easier because we are gaining more and more outlets to meet people who may be a potential match. It used to be a lot harder than it is today. But now you can get on Twitter, see someone you talk to post a selfie, and hit their DMs up and pass along your number and BAM it’s that simple. I love technology, and I love how it has evolved the dating game.

Sina: Technology is definitely making it easier. You can stay in contact easier. Things like text messaging, Facebook, etc allow you to scope out who the other person is before getting into deeper waters. That being said, I don’t think technology should be a substitute to person to person communication. If anything it’s a compliment, and aids individuals in the dating game.

Brian: The dating game is definitely changing. You always hear those eHarmony commercials about how a large percentage of marriages start online. Technology closes physical distances and links social groups, so you can meet people that you never would have before. The downside may be that people are shallower online. With only a picture and a few words, you don’t have much to go off of, and since there are so many options, you have to discriminate somehow. Often times, looks is the easiest way to eliminate people, so appearances become a larger part of the decision process than before.

Alex: Again, absolutely. I think it’s changing social interaction as a whole, but I find it difficult to boil the changes down to just “easier or harder”. It’s certainly easier to catalog memories, easier to meet people and easier to build a relationship through all times of the day. But on the flip side, I think it is decreasing the intimacy of interactions. People go on dates, but spend them texting other people. A guy might spend the night at a girl’s or guy’s place, and spend it texting other friends. Technology is a great tool, but I think it removes people from what is happening right in front of their faces.

What is the best kind of movie to watch on a date?

Sheldon: As a Psychology major, we actually studied the best kind of movie to watch on a date. An action or horror movie is actually the best because it gets the blood pumping, and causes stimulation. So if you’re ever on a date and need something to watch, go see something that’ll make you jump or something with lots of explosion and fight scenes. You won’t regret it, that’s a money back guarantee.

Sina: A romantic comedy. I know, I know, it is cheesy and cliché. It works though, it sets the mood and tone for the rest of the evening. A note to all the gents and ladies: don’t watch/agree to watch movies on first dates. Why? There is no opportunity for conversation, and without conversation you lack the opportunity to find a spark between the two of you.

Brian: I’d say a comedy would be the best kind of date movie. While science has shown that movies that get adrenaline pumping will help to create a bond between people, I think comedies can establish a similar link through laughter. And if conversation ever stalls, you can always fall back on making a joke from the movie. I may be biased though because I think humor and the ability to laugh at ridiculous situations are huge components in getting along with me.

Alex: Tough question, depends on the girl. Hitch is a classic fallback. I’d look to pick a movie that touches on everything my girl finds interesting. Favorite actors, genres, something. But it can’t be too engrossing. I think it’s best if focus is split between the movie and you.

List your top five “let’s get it on” songs.

Sheldon: Ahhhhhhh yeah, this is a good one. If I had to choose five songs from it, I would go with “Pony” by Ginuwine, “Pink Matter” by Frank Ocean, “Until the End of Time” by Justin Timberlake, “Bump N Grind” by R. Kelly, and “A Night Off” by Drake.

Sina: If I had to choose, it would be these five. “That’s What It’s Made For”- Usher “Strip”- Chris Brown “Let’s Get It On”-Marvin Gaye. Come on, you knew this was coming when you asked that question. “Until the End of Time”-Justin Timberlake “Take You Down”- Chris Brown.

Brian: I can’t name five songs, but some Miley and Selena definitely gets the blood pumping. I’d have to add The Weeknd and Frank Ocean. I realize those aren’t songs, but I feel like most of their work is just asking to have love made to haha.

Alex: “The Finishing” – Stavroz, “Hot Like Fire” – The xx, “Why Don’t We Do It In The Road” – The Beatles, “Sex Machine” – James Brown, “Turn Off The Lights” – Teddy Pendergrass

If you could choose your ideal Valentine’s Date, who would it be? (Feel free to be unrealistic)

Sheldon: If you know me, I’m sure you know my ideal Valentine’s date would be Kim Kardashian. I would do anything she wanted, I would do the most cheesy, romantic things for her. It would make me the happiest I’ve ever been and I would probably cry by the end of the night honestly. If Kim happens to read this, I just wanna tell her I LOVE HER.

Sina: A dinner in Paris with Tony Stark as my waiter (but he doesn’t try to swoon my girl) and Yo-Yo Ma as my personal musician throughout the dinner. Seems simple and reasonable.

Brian: My ideal Valentine’s date would be someone who I’m absolutely comfortable around. Someone I wouldn’t have to keep a proper façade up for and would allow me to just let all of the weirdness out. Someone I can make inside jokes with and who can laugh with me at the ridiculousness of life.

Alex: Oh goodness, I get to be unrealistic? Sun rises, and I’ve already got mushroom striped omelets on the table. Hour to eat and it’s time to hit San Fran. Spend the day walking through Golden Gate Park, attending Giants games, whatever. Now we’re hungry, and it’s time for dinner. Of course, my girl and I have reservations at the French Laundry. Thomas Keller himself serves our food. For two hours we do nothing but consume the most delectable meal ever to grace our tongues. We’re drinking a Domaine de la Romanée-Conti Grand Cru, and tonight, they’re serving oyster sabayon, carnaroli risotto, and a beautifully rare calotte de bœuf. Both of our lives have been building to this meal. But the evening isn’t over. We drive way out to the outskirts of the Napa Valley. We lay down and above is the meteor shower of the decade. There are no words to describe the beauty. After it dies down, we spend the rest of the night gazing at the stars, and doing whatever else you’re supposed to do in the dark. Happy Valentines Day! Oh crap, TOTALLY misread that. Fine, my answer is Emma Watson. I’m doing all of the above with Emma Watson. There, that’s better.

If you could date any TV show character, who would you choose?

Sheldon: If I could date any TV show character, I would probably choose…Deb Morgan from Dexter. That would be a fun time no doubt. A fun, rowdy, foul mouthed, drunken time indeed.

Sina: Emilia Clarke’s character, Daenerys, from Game of Thrones.

Brian: April Ludgate from Parks and Rec. Aubrey Plaza is definitely a cutie, and I love the deadpan delivery of her jokes.

Alex: If you could date any TV show character, who would you choose? Going to have to go with Dany. Hard to ignore the gorgeous looks, thousands of followers, royal bloodline and DRAGONS.

Finally, what advice would you give guys or girls going on dates this Valentine’s Day?

Sheldon: The only Valentine’s date advice I can give you is don’t overthink or try too hard to impress someone you’re going out with. Don’t be that guy or girl to be someone that you’re not, or do things you wouldn’t normally do in hopes of impressing someone else. Be yourself, I cannot stress that enough. You can be you better than anyone else ever could, so stick with that and have a great Valentine’s Day.

Sina: Have fun. Do what you two enjoy. Don’t follow the stereotypical dinner, rather make it a Valentine’s Day to remember.

Brian: My advice would be to relax and have fun. You don’t have to impress anybody. Don’t get swept up into the hype of the day and do something big if you don’t want to. Sometimes a tub of ice cream and Netflix are all you need. Especially during this winter storm.

Alex: Stay home and make your SO dinner! It’s cheaper, it’s a fun couple activity, and you get to woo him or her with your sweet cooking skills! I think it’s so much more appealing than going out and spending $80 on an evening. But I love cooking so maybe that’s just me. Buy two lobsters and two steaks and give your SO a treat.

This one was suggested by Alex, upon realizing that the 5 worst “let’s get it on” songs are way more amusing. In honor of his suggestion: the five absolute worst songs to get it on to.

Sheldon: Royals by Lorde, Locked out of Heaven by Bruno mars, What does the fox say by whoever sings that song, anything by Taylor Swift, and last but not least ANYTHING BY MACKLEMORE.

Sina: So here’s the list: “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” by Activator, “Hakuna Matata”, “Friday” by Rebecca Black, “Gangnam Style” by Psy, and “Harlem Shake” by Baauer. 

Brian: Some songs that signal things aren’t going well would be any of the Taylor Swift songs where she subtly disses her exes. I’m sure that would be a mood ruiner. Any sort of screamo would probably create a weird dynamic. Kidz Bop would be in the same boat. As you can see, I’m not very good with song names.

Alex: I’m going “Strange Fruit” by Billie Holiday, “Tears in Heaven” by Clapton, “Creep” by Radiohead, “Virus Alert” by Weird Al, and “What What (In the Butt)” by Samwell.

I hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I did, and feel free to leave comments for the guys down below. 

Published by

Miranda Feneberger

Miranda Feneberger

In the middle of an existential crisis. If you have one of those super long phone chargers can you send it to me?