FITNESS TIPS

As it is January, of course I have to post some resolution-esque posts. Since this month’s theme is Starting Over, I thought I’d put a fitness/health spin on that and talk about some things that work for me and might work for you also! How are you guys liking the theme thing by the way? I’m not really sure how it’s working out. I’m sorry in advance that there are no pictures in this post, that bores the crap out of me.

EXERCISE

Alright, now I don’t know about you but when I used to hear the words “working out” I immediately imagined pain and suffering. Going to the gym is one of those things that everyone always wants to do but can’t because it’s too far/too cold/too expensive/etc. The good news is that you don’t have to go to the gym to work out. Sure one of the easiest ways you can begin working out is to utilize the resources offered in a gym but that’s not the only way. If you do decide to invest in a gym membership, take classes. Classes keep you accountable and accountability is the key to getting/staying in shape. If no one is there to slap you on the wrist when you eat that box of Oreo’s, you’re gonna pretend it never happened and probably forget about it. Classes are not only great workouts, but they are, despite popular belief, fun. If you want something a little more low key, that is, where you don’t feel like you have to shake your ass in front of every skinny suburban liposuctioned mom in the room, I suggest yoga, pilates, or spinning. Yoga is incredibly relaxing, and great for toning and stretching your muscles. Spinning is a bit more of a high intensity class, with periods of increased and decreased resistance, but if your focus is your legs/butt, spinning will give you results.

Now if you’re easily bored by sitting around and doing the same old thing, take a dance class. This can be pretty scary if you think you suck at dancing but I guarantee you, there will be someone fatter and more awkward than you there. The teachers wont tell you if you suck so you can just pretend you’re on So You Think You Can Dance and get on with it. Zumba and hip hop are great for that high energy/party feel, while ballroom and ballet are quieter and more focused. It’s never too late to learn how to dance. How classy would it be for you to pull out a waltz or a tango at your next formal event. Pretty classy I think.

It’s been said that 80% of losing weight is diet and 20% is exercise. I think that’s an okay statistic to live by because it takes a lot of the pressure out of feeling like you need to hit the gym everyday.

Alright now if you don’t have a gym membership/gym in your neighborhood/gym anywhere, then workout DVDs are your friend. My favorites are by Jillian Michaels, and I think that’s because she works me hard AF and I feel like I need to impress her. That might be irrational but it works for me. She’s very encouraging, and seeing her do the workout with you just makes you want to look as good as she does.

One little pro tip is to go to Target or wherever and buy some workout clothes. It really puts you in the mood to hunker down and get a move on. Also when you get skinny you can go buy smalls instead of mediums and how satisfying is that.

Another thing you can do without a gym membership is go running. This is really daunting if you aren’t a runner, but the best part is that it gets easier the more you do it. You’re gonna look like that lazy girl who can’t run for a week or two, but after a week and a half of running you just figure it out. It’s like driving a car for the first time. It starts out being kind of scary, and you think about every move you make, but eventually you stop thinking about it and you can just go. Running is a great all body workout, and it really wakes you up so the myth of the morning run is in fact true. You’re gonna wake up and want to kill yourself but when you get back you are going to feel super in shape and happy. It’s dem endorphins, ya’ll. They’re your best friend.

DIET

I’m a vegetarian, if you didn’t know that, and I always find dieting to be scary. I’m always worried about getting enough protein in my diet, and eggs and beans are high in fat so when you’re on a diet it’s hard to not eat those things. I usually eat them anyway, haha.

The easiest way, I think, to diet, is to take a picture of everything you eat. There are apps that help with this, my personal favorite is The Eatery. Basically you upload a photo of your meal, give it a title, and post it. Then, other users rate your meal on a scale from Fat to Fit, so you can see how you’re doing. This all goes back to the accountability thing. It’s like Instagram in the way that you can scroll back and see all of your photos which allows you to remember those Oreo’s you ate two days ago. It’s awesome because you feel like you need to get that fit rating every time so it’s kind of like a challenge to create a healthy meal.

I also live by the basic rule that I want lots of color on my plate and as little beige/white/or tan as possible. This is a pretty easy way to avoid bad carbs like white bread/potatoes etc. Try to do like 60-75% vegetables/fruits and 25% carbs/rice/protein. As a vegetarian I get most of my nutrition from vegetables so if you’re a meat eater, you can lessen that veggie percentage and get some lean meat and things like that into your diet.

The last thing I want to talk about with dieting is cheating. You’re going to cheat. Whether you eat pizza at a party, some ice cream when you’re alone, popcorn at the movies, or whatever else, you need to just know that it will be okay. The worst thing you can do is throw away your days. Girls have a higher tendency to do this than guys, which is partially why guys lose weight a bit quicker than girls do. If you have a Big Mac for lunch, don’t eat something shitty for dinner. Instead of being like “oh well this day’s ruined I’ll do better tomorrow”, say something like “ok well since I ate an entire freaking Big Mac with fries and a McFlurry for lunch, I’m gonna be super healthy for dinner”. Don’t throw away your days. All hope is not lost from your 1000+ calorie meal. Just exercise a bit harder and eat totally healthy the next day. If you never let yourself cheat you are putting yourself in danger of binge eating. One day you’ll crack and have a Big Mac party in your tummy which will end up all dimpled over your body. No bueno. Just cheat in moderation. Get the kids meal at McDonalds or the four count Chik Fil A nuggets. For you vegetarians like me, Burger King has super yummy veggie burgers. Just get the burger without fries and the soda. You can still eat what you want, just not ALL of what you want.

Last thing I swear, beware of drinking your calories. I don’t count calories because it makes me mentally insane, whereas apps like The Eatery keep me accountable without my needing to fulfill a quota. Soda/sweet tea/milkshakes/energy drinks/most smoothies/coffee drinks. These are your enemies. You drink one of these and you don’t even realize how much crap you just put into your body even though it only took a few seconds. Just because it’s liquid doesn’t mean it’s good for you. Carrying water everywhere is the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. When you feel hungry or you’re craving something, chances are, you are either thirsty or bored. Either way, taking a huge swig of water will drown your appetite. You don’t need that mac and cheese from Panera even though it’s so good. CAVE PEOPLE DIDN’T DIE WITHOUT THEIR PANERA MAC AND CHEESE. THEY ATE FREAKING LEAVES AND NUTS AND BERRIES AND BUFFALOS. Is that accurate? I don’t know. But you get my point. Drown your cravings in some water and if you actually are hungry, oppa caveman style and grab some nuts or fruit or berries or insects to munch on.

I hope these tips were helpful! Let me know if you’ve got any good fitness tips and post em down below!

OPPA CAVEMAN STYLE

xox Miranda

Published by

Miranda Feneberger

Miranda Feneberger

In the middle of an existential crisis. If you have one of those super long phone chargers can you send it to me?