Death is difficult. It’s one of things that is hard to talk about, and even harder to not talk about. It’s crippling, saddening, uncomfortable, and tragic. It makes us regretful, confused, lonely, and angry. We can’t always understand why it strikes us when it does, and all we know in those moments is how we feel inside, if we can even figure out that much.

I’m dedicating this post to a girl named Julia Tarter. She was in a horrible car accident earlier in the week, and though family and friends prayed and hoped for her recovery, she sadly passed away. There aren’t many words that describe Julia that don’t evoke joy and love. She was one of the kindest and strongest souls I’ve ever met. I had the pleasure of working on a few shows with Julia, and she brought light and passion to them all. ¬†She was silly and dedicated and sweet and tough. She was a devoted Christian and she dedicated herself to serving God in any way she could. I’ve never been strong in any particular faith but in the moments that I was, it was usually because of her. She inspired me and many others to be better people. She never once told me that I was wrong for not believing. She never tried to convert me or spoon feed me bible verses. She preached kindness, selflessness, love, and faith. Her very existence was inspiring.

Her passing is difficult to accept. As someone who doesn’t identify strongly with Christianity, it’s hard to accept that it was God’s plan for this to happen. It doesn’t seem fair that it would be God’s will to take someone who was such a good person. However, although I don’t consider myself a Christian, I do have a lot of hope. I believe that this world is good and that bad things happen for a reason. I refuse to accept that we could live in a world where people like Julia, good people, pass away for no reason. What is the point of living with that mindset?

So maybe in these moments all we can do is believe in something. We can believe in each other, in our friendships and relationships. We can believe in something greater than all of us. We can believe in life and love. I don’t know which one I choose just yet, but I know that I believe in something. This happened for a reason. She dedicated her life to God, so I’m sure he plucked her up out of Earth because she was just too good for this world full of pain and sadness. Maybe God needed a dance instructor up in heaven. I like to think so.

Because Julia believed, I believe. I want her to be wherever her faith takes her. I may not be a Christian, but I believe the world needs more people like Julia. Religion itself is not as important as sharing kindness, love, and joy with others. Her actions inspired me to be a better person, and that’s all that matters. She deserves a life full of God, because she lived a life full of God. She’s dancing in the heavens, giggling, smiling, laughing, (snorting), and bringing joy to all of heaven’s souls. Heck, she’s probably dining with Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe. I believe that.

Julia was an inspiration to me and everyone she met. She was a beautiful soul, and she will not be forgotten. Her light will live on to inspire us. She may have left us here, but she is all around.

In loving memory. Julia Tarter 1993-2013

I thought I’d include some photos of her, because she would want us to remember how happy she was. She would want us to be happy that she is finally with the one who created her, the one she dedicated her life to serving. Photos only do her beautiful face so much justice, but we should remember her with joy, not sorrow.

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If you need anyone to talk to, I’m always here.

xo Miranda

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Miranda Feneberger

Miranda Feneberger

In the middle of an existential crisis. If you have one of those super long phone chargers can you send it to me?