All of the sudden, I’m uncertain about what I’m doing all over again. It’s like, I came from this great place where things made sense and everything was in it’s place and now I’ve parachuted down into this mysterious place full of hypocrisy and frustration. Watching the people you love make the same mistakes over and over again is probably the most psychologically upsetting thing one can ever do. I get these feelings that come over me and tell me that I know what I’m doing and other people are doing it wrong, wasting away their time partying, drinking, and not caring, yet I’m the one that feels lost and confused. When people say they’ve got it all figured out I can’t help but laugh and say “how can you say such a ridiculous thing?”.

Maybe I’m being over dramatic but it seems to me that I’m not the only one in this boat. We lie to ourselves and others saying yeah, we know what we’re doing and we’re in the right place because it helps us feel like we have control over the world around us. In reality, things are weird and they make no sense and you don’t know what you’re doing, but the only thing you can do is choose a cultural worldview that makes sense to you and follow it. The problem with this is that we then become blind to all that does not manifest itself within our chosen outlook.

This, to me seems like a terrible way to live. Our culture says that we have to believe in either something or nothing, or else they assume we just believe what our parents told us to believe. Honestly, sometimes I believe in something and nothing. The problem with having to choose one belief and stick with it is that it leaves us no room to evolve and evolving is one of the things that we as humans do best. Now on a side note I know that I’m putting all of this quite frankly and I don’t mean to offend those who have chosen their beliefs. My only problem is that these so called “beliefs” are just that. Beliefs. So why do we have to label, stamp, and simplify them into one word? Why can’t we just believe whatever it is we believe and get on with it?

To this, some will probably say that yes, those of us who believe something in the gray area can just go on living in the haziness of our unidentifiable thoughts. However, I feel like we are so focused on categorizing one another into groups that you can’t say that kind of thing to certain people. “Oh hey, so are you religious?” “Well, I believe in many of the principles of Buddhism and Hinduism, while also drawing many ideas from the Old Testament morality of the Christians and Jews, but I also believe in many Shamanistic tenants, and, though I pray to god pretty much only when I want something, when I really hate my life and the world around me, I’m an atheist.”

See the problem?

Anyway, it’s just a thought I had.

Anyone else feel the same way?

xox Miranda

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Miranda Feneberger

Miranda Feneberger

In the middle of an existential crisis. If you have one of those super long phone chargers can you send it to me?

  • http://lovelyseasonscomeandgo.wordpress.com
    I can identify with you. I like to study all types of religion because i feel they all have a little something to offer. I really enjoy it too. So that as a christian i do not allow my ego to get too big, by saying oh i am a christian and i believe this, this and this. I do not think God appreciates the big ego at all and i feel it hurts us all. So yes i can understand what you are saying here. Thank you and i enjoyed reading your post here. Have a great day. Betty

  • Reblogged this on lovelyseasonscomeandgo and commented:
    I can appreiciate your thoughts here and your honesty.

  • Varin

    Well said. The last part makes me chuckle with familiarity 🙂